I ask Kyle if this looks okay because postpartum wardrobe choices are an art technique: leggings and oversized shirts, or risk accentuating the spare tire around my abdomen created by my first, then second, then third C-section.
But it seems like a stupid question when you’re leaving for the hospital to say your last goodbye to your grandfather.
I confirm with my mother the time frame for the rodent specialist because the clawing in the attic above the kitchen sounds like an actual human family is constructing a new build home while we eat dinner.
But it seems like a stupid thing to be concerning ourselves with when she’s just texted you the decision has been made to disconnect your grandfather this evening.
I answer the phone to the private, dual language school my middle child will start in August and confirm that yes, I know about the forms, and yes, I will complete them as soon as possible.
But it seems like a stupid concern when you’re sitting in the living room of your grandparent’s house the day after only your grandmother now resides in it.
I ask Ana if she’d babysit our four year old, two year old, and two month old, knowing full well what a handful that is, so that Kyle can join us at the hospital.
But it seems like a stupid thing to be embarrassed by when your husband’s presence is often the thing that keeps you from crumbling.
I hold Tito’s cold hand and marvel at his paper thin skin. I am reminded how these hands have worked the earth, how these hands have bounced grandchildren, how these hands – full of donuts or peanuts or fruit – have incited squeals of delight.
And it seems like a stupid notion that these hands will no longer do that.
**Rest in peace 🕊️ Antonio Sanchez (aka Tito) who was taken to the hospital on the evening of February 14 where scans showed bleeding in the brain. My Tito passed shortly after 11 PM on February 15 surrounded by his wife (my Tita) and his daughters (my tías)**
britt escribe 
😢❤️🙏🏼
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Sending you hugs. The way you structured this was a beautiful tribute to your grandfather. I could feel your love.
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Oh, this is so beautiful and poignant, and as Erika said, a lovely tribute to your grandfather. It’s so surreal how “real” life with forms and rodents continues in the face of such searing loss. You captured this so well. My heart goes out to you and your family.
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Oh Britt – we are on the same wave length this morning. I posted a poem about my grandfather on Ethical ELA from your prompt. And now I open your TWT slice and it’s about your beloved Tito. I love the photo of him laughing. Always keep in your heart the good times. You are loved!
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May your memories remind you of the joys of better times. I’m so sorry for your loss. You captured it all so well with the repetitive structure of this piece.
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Britt, that laughter in the DAD shirt shows a lifetime of his pride and joy of family – each wrinkle, each raised eyebrow, the open mouth toothy smile, and I think I can audibly hear the laughter that comes from his very soul. Wow. I’m so sorry for your loss. And I’m so happy for your joy of memories that will live long.
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Britt, wow, those pictures are priceless. Thank you for sharing these beautiful thoughts about Tito and your last time with him. I’m sending my condolences to you and your beautiful family. I’m glad you can be close by for this time of healing. Peace.
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Sending hugs! I know these feelings and the watching of the old hands. I did the same as my Mother past years ago. I still remember sitting there holding on to those hard working hands. This post is beautifully written. Take Care as move forward from this time! Peace to all!
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I’m so sorry for your loss, Britta. What an enormous hole you must have in your heart.
I know this is a highly personal piece, but I was wondering if I could use it as a BE INSPIRED piece in March. If so, please email me today or tomorrow with the permalink to this post so that I know it’s okay. stacey{at}staceyshubitz{dot}com.
May your Tito’s memory always be for a blessing and may thoughts of him always bring a smile to your face.
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I am sorry for your loss. I am humbled that you allowed us to read this raw and deep slice.
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Britt, what a beautiful piece highlighting your Tito. Even during such heartache, you crafted this piece lovingly and showed the passage of time with your very real concerns that didn’t seem important compared to what was happening.
Tear jerker for sure as this brought up reminders of going through something similar with my grandmother.
I wish you much peace as you remember those special moments.
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Sorry for the typo in your name, Britt! Oh, how I wish I could edit that!
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This writing embodies the complexity of living the moments of loss, when daily life concerns intrude on the larger sense of loss. The power in the writing comes from the acknowledgement of life’s ongoingness (yes, it’s not a word) while we struggle with grief. I admire this writing, this vulnerability which you brought to this beautiful post, and the image of your grandfather is celebratory – just beautiful in so many ways.
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I am so sorry for your loss but also honored that you would share this deeply personal
tribute with us all. I found myself tearing up as you shared his last days.
It’s crazy how the unimportant stuff intermingles with all the monumental life altering happenings in ones life.
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The most important thing we can do in this life is be with those we love. Thank you for sharing.
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Britt thank you for letting us look together at your father’s hands before he passed away. And thank you for letting us into a mind reaching for a sense of sanity in the midst of profound grief. You touch on something universal in your decisions to keep living past a loved one’s passing.
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Britt thank you for letting us look together at your father’s hands before he passed away. And thank you for letting us into a mind reaching for a sense of sanity in the midst of profound grief. You touch on something universal in your decisions to keep living past a loved one’s passing.
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Britt, I echo all the above sentiments, appreciations, and sympathies. I hope the memories and all the family and grandchildren are a comfort to you all and especially your grandmother. I especially love your line about your Tito’s hands making the little ones squeal in delight as they hold out donuts, peanuts, fruit. Those details really struck my heart.
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I deeply resonate with your poem, I still remember it as it was this week, I was holding my grandfather’s hand, he was sick since many days, no such ailments, just old age, suddenly I realized his hands were icy…
You share a bond that is so real, he is here, just here!
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Thank you for reading, as well as sharing how you resonate. Here’s to holding on to their memories 🤎🤎
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