(Context: Three years ago today I shared here on SOLSC about the cardiologist appointment for my now middle child who was still in my womb. Ana’s pregnancy health scare post last week reminded me of my own, so I decided to try out Lisa’s “I remember…” format for today’s post to reflect on my own pregnancy scaries.)
I remember…
… being terrified. I was instructed to wait; change into a gown; the jelly “will be just a bit cold” and to endure the discomfort a short time more. I remember being angry at the doctor’s office who had treated me so well the entire pregnancy and throughout your big brother’s too. It was an “oversight” on their part to not call me about their concern with your heart? It was an “oversight” they forgot to call and provide me instructions to schedule with a fetal cardiologist?
Daddy and I joked often about how you’d come out a soccer player or an acrobat because of your extreme tumbling in my belly; much, much more movement than Elías. Once the swirl of doctors’ appointments began, I couldn’t help but wonder whether your movement meant distress, whether your tumbling impacted your heart. I was caught between loving the feel of your rhythm and ignorantly afraid your kicking could cause a bigger hole in your heart.
You are now two, and we cannot contain you. The holes in your heart closed on their own shortly after birth. I am thankful when you wake up asking for your soccer ball before even saying good morning and how you dance every chance you get and how active you love to be all.day.long.
I am convinced the roar of your laughter is responsible for closing more than just the hole in your heart that makes our family whole.
britt escribe 
Oh! Wow! Your last line has me in tears! Watching our kids grow and giggle is the best thing we could ask for and you just show us how much of a toll your worries took on your own heart. Bravo to that last line and thank you for sharing this experience with us.
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Wow, what a memory. The reflection from then to now is powerful. So glad it worked out in the end!
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What a powerful piece showing you anger, frustration, and worry during what should have been a joyful time of expectation.
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Oh, Britt, that sweet play on hole and whole is just precious. I love this sweet post written directly to Gabriel. What a scare, but what a joyful outcome.
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What a beautiful post reflecting on what must have been a scary time now that you are past the fear.
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I went from being angry the “oversight” to relief that the holes closed on their own. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that kind of scare.
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